Two years, various stressors

The joy in finding myself more resilient than I thought

The woman on the left knew what was coming, she knew there would be downtime at work at some point, but she didn't realise quite how hard that would be.

(Image is two photos of the same white woman a year apart. On the left she's wearing glasses and red lipstick and smiling at the camera. On the right she's wearing a blue hat she made, a rust coloured cowl her mum made, and a navy blue coat. There's a blue sky behind her).

2023 Lynda thought it was all pretty grim, and she was glad to see the back of it. She was certain 2024 would be more uplifting and optimistic. She hadn't factored in the stressors in the upcoming year.

You can't predict the effects stress and traumatic surgery will have on you. You can only accept them with compassion and do what you can to recover and adapt.

I underestimated what it would take to recover from a knee replacement. I thought I was a dab hand at dealing with pain after 30 years with endometriosis. I hadn't appreciated that I knew how to handle chronic pain (pacing myself, saying no to things, accepting there would be no relief until menopause). I had no idea how to manage acute pain following a major surgery. I do wish our health service had a more holistic approach to patient care and that my knee consultant had looked at my history, and talked to me about the different kinds of pain and how to manage them.

I also had the stress of a divorce and supporting my son through his GCSEs before the surgery, so quite frankly 2024 can do one. However, I have learnt that I have to be resilient whatever the weather.

(Image is a montage of hand-knitted items, including completed socks, scarf, cowl and shawl. There's also a sweater still in progress).

If I hadn't built up skills to stay calm, have boundaries and tackle what hit me, then I wouldn't have had a hope of getting though it. Meditation has been key, as has asking for help and getting outside at any opportunity (whatever the weather). Reading and knitting have been my saviours (as have escaping into series on Netflix, ITVx and Now TV…).

(Image is a montage of some of tbe various books I've read, or listened to, this year. They're a mix of fiction and non-fiction).

I promised myself I'd approach this year with humility, and consolidate my personal situation and I feel pretty proud of myself. I approach 2025 with trepidation, there's still much work to be done on my mental and physical health in order to improve my professional and personal situations, but I feel more equipped to do that work than I ever have.

I'm ready to do good work, be a fine friend and be present for those who need me, whilst also making sure I do some things that make my heart sing (Scotland 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 and Paris 🇫🇷 here I come).

Someone asked this year, “What do you really want to do?” and I separated this into, ‘in my work, I want people to feel included; to feel seen and be heard’, and ‘in my life, I want to feel involved in the world, safe and connected’.

I'm ready. Let's do it.